Response 101

When I Become King ... I will introduce the radical concept of "Responding Likewise" which simply means that if I send an email to my Loyal Subjects, they will reply via email. Not by snail mail, fax, or (heaven forbid) telephone.

Naturally, if the matter is URGENT it'll be okay to change the method of communication, but anyone who - by default - replies to an email with a phone call - will be ignored the first time. Then castrated upon the second occurrence. Then executed upon the third occurrence.

cure for those who cannot multitask

When I become King, nobody's cellphone will work while moving more than 10 miles/hour. Except mine, of course.

Automobile Insurance Made Easy

When I become King, one of my first acts will be to have all poor people deported. It doesn't matter if they (and their ancestors) were born here; the fact that they're living in America below the poverty line should be enough justification to send them to a third world county (like Canada).

I thought about this after reading an item in the Dallas Managed News about a bed-wetting judge who doesn't like all the people without auto insurance who enter his courtroom. He seems to think that drivers should have insurance .. oh, please. Doing the math: $500/year (the cost of a minumum policy) comes out to $9.62 per week (a little less than a 12-pack of Tecate).

Now, if I'm just trying to get by, which am I going to choose: insurance, or beer? Man, this judge just doesn't get it.

Ref: Automobile Insurance Made Easy