When I Become King ... all spammers will be caught. They will then be forced to sit naked in a cage, in the corner of a Wal-Mart parking lot, defecating and urinating on each other -- for two months (perhaps eating each others' feces, to both entertain the Wal-Mart shoppers and serve as a message to anyone who thinks they should be a spammer, too). Cannibalism will be encouraged.
At the end of those two months, any survivors will be transported to a factory where they will be ground up (live) and turned into rat poison.
At least -- in the end -- they will have served a useful function.
Happy Valentine's Day, by the way ...